New Business

Hi there, I hope you’re all doing as well as possible. This is my first post of 2023!

I’m not blogging as much as I used to but wanted to give you an update.

I am now offering services as a mentor to people who are living with chronic illnesses.

Please note my services offered as a complement to any treatment you are receiving, and are not meant to replace anything. I am not a medical professional.

I would also like to put it out there to the universe that I can help with spiritual and mental health.

Contact me for a no obligation free session to see if this resonates with you!

I’m also on TikTok now. That’s my more fun light-hearted side. See link in bio for all my social media links.

In terms of my own health there have been some ups and downs, but now it’s getting a lot better and I’m choosing to believe that I am healthier than what I am. Fake it till you make it?

If you like 👍 any of my content and want to show your thanks 🙏🏻 please subscribe and consider tipping me on ko – fi

Stepping out of my comfort zone and taking risks a lot more than I used to.

I’m even going to a speed dating event for the more spiritual minded singles on April 2 here in Sydney. It will be held at my favourite cafe Buddha Bowl and I believe tickets are still available.

It’s not easy to date when you’ve had a lot of health challenges and we’ve been through pandemic and you’ve been single for a long time, but the right person will be there if they’re meant to be and if not why not make some new friends?

I’m also cohosting spiritual Instagram lives every week with a cohost based in Canada. More information ℹ️ here on my IG

I’m attending a few zoom meetings a month.

One is astrological and also a new moon and full moon one.

As always, I hope that you have found some value in my blog. I also have a group on Facebook which is open to all where I share hacks and tips to help improve your life from a holistic point of view.

Cute Duck 🦆 photo 📸 I took at Victoria Park recently as the blog image for those who love ❤️ animal therapy!

Until next time blessings to you all!

*Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional or counselor. Opinions expressed in this post are my own based on what I’ve found helps me. Always consult a professional first*

Energy Vampires

So I’m not blogging as much as I want to and part of that is because I haven’t been well. I had Covid in early July. It’s winter here in Australia. This did make it more challenging with my existing health issues though I’m happy to report that all pre-cancer cells have been cleared from my cervix when I had a leep procedure in early April. I do still have HVP and that’s a virus and my immune system is already working really hard fighting blood/bone cancer and any other virus that I might pick up so it will take time but I’m tough and optimistic!

All this to say that basically writing my blog especially when it appears that not many people are really reading it anymore means it is not a high priority and I just wanted to be honest. It takes a lot of mental, emotional and spiritual energy up at times so I would rather post less for now. Thank you for understanding. The intention of this blog is to help people from a spiritual point of view by sharing practical things that I’ve used that have helped me with my mental and physical health and maybe making some sense of why we on this planet.

Yes I know that’s a bit ambitious. I’m also trying to keep on top of my social media presence and I’m in my early 40s so I don’t understand how gen Z and millennials’ do this! Surely I can pay someone to do these things for me right?

Anyway I was wondering what we could talk about or rather what I could share about then it occurred to me that like many empaths that I take on a lot of energy from other people and that can be so exhausting mentally and physically.

I do things to clear my energy regularly and protect myself. I have mentioned this in other posts but just to reiterate shielding, cord cutting and saging and reiki never do any harm. I love my crystals as well and I know it’s not hurting anyone. If you disagree that’s fine each to their own and refer to the disclaimer above please ha ha!

Very recently a person who is extremely toxic and has a very addictive personality popped into my head and I knew that was because they were required in court regarding the breach of the AVO (restraining order) that I have in place courtesy of the police.

Now there have been several adjournments for different reasons and my understanding is this person is pleading section 14 due to mental health reasons so pleading guilty. The good thing about that for me is that I wouldn’t be required in court but to protect myself I already got a letter from my therapist and haematologist saying why it’s not reasonable for me to go to court and give my statement a third time.

I had to put it to the back of my mind and try to move on to the best of my ability but this persons energy is very dominant, narcissistic and draining. It also doesn’t help that they don’t live too far away from me.

Fortunately I was able to call for an update just last Friday in the afternoon and found out that it’s finally all finalised! Yes that’s weight off my mind but they keep on popping into my head what does that mean?

Well if you’re reading this maybe you are curious, or maybe you know that when someone is thinking of you whether it’s negative or positive that they have corded you. So I had to work hard to protect myself from their energy. Heaven forbid they are reading this but this is my blog and I can say what I want and I haven’t mentioned their name. I don’t actually hate them but I think they have a lot of work they need to do on themselves spiritually and I hope that they get a lot of counselling and start treating people better.

Once you have cut chords and protected your energy I find it really useful to say “I call back my power” several times.

At some point the person who is the biggest energy vampire for you will no longer be in your head. It’s not easy, I speak from experience but it’s best to try not to give your way your power to people who judge you, misunderstand you or try to manipulate you.

I hope this helps you, if not it’s all good. Be safe.

Blessings xxoo Jazz

*Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional or counselor. Opinions expressed in this post are my own based on what I’ve found helps me. Always consult a professional first*

Acceptance

God grant me the courage to accept the things I cannot change.

Ok so I’m not an alcoholic or in any kind of 12 step programme but I do know know the serenity prayer and how it can be applied to everyday life particularly when you need to let go of so much that is out of your control.

So lately my health has not been in my control with cancer numbers going up slightly and that’s not a good sign and an HVP infection of the Cervix and it’s gone from low grade to possible high grade over a period of only a few months.

I had a lot of stress and was abused in the previous living situation. I posted some poetry about this in my previous post. The stress of that surely would affect my mental, emotional and physical health not to mention my immune system.

If I was to add on the long list of what I don’t like or want and don’t have control over right now then I would just get anxious and you dear reader may get anxious too so I won’t do that but I will say that I have been battling depression and been very angry and irritable a lot lately and handling it with walks, counselling, journaling and gentle yoga even during a lockdown here in Sydney that we’ve been in since late June. This helps but I really thought I knew more and had more control and certainty. My intuition can be onto it but not always in a good way.

I’ll give you an example. In my last house I got a lot of strange chest pain a for a bit before I was given notice and then some other things happened and an incident occurred resulting in me requiring police assistance. I knew it wasn’t heart related per-say as I have known anxiety well but breathing deeply wasn’t helping it go and my head felt clear enough so I wondered if from a spiritual point of view that something was up. Well maybe it was my heart chakra? I’m big on that stuff given how well much it’s helped me. You know energy work like reiki and kinesiology etc. And my heart felt like it was being attacked ? Am I making sense here?

Well I wasn’t wrong and I got the heart discomfort before a phone call about my latest blood work and the night before third and most recent gyno appointment!

So I feel like I can trust my intuition even if I don’t like what it’s showing me but I have to accept what’s coming through from a place of love and gratitude but sometimes the anger and frustration and sadness is going to come up and that’s been harder to accept over the years as it often triggers me to childhood abuse and a person I used to be, the glass half empty, suicidal type. She struggled in a world so black and white or was it grey clouds hanging around, an abundance of them lingering?

I processed and cried plenty in my teens and 20’s then my health battles in my 30’s and early 40’s. I have had many great times, manifesting travel, moving overseas and more but it was hard work and I’m tired! Self help and self care is not easy!

I’m at a point now that where I feel like my health is improving on all levels but the medical profession can’t see this in their blood tests and try to get me to increase the medications. I got more side effects already and remedied this with acupuncture, kinesiology and physio !

I never truely accepted the medications I am on truth be told and that maybe they could help because I’ve had so many short and long term side effects from them but a lot of complementary health care has managed to stop it being worse. I have just reluctantly taken them angrily over the years because it’s a catch 22 with my insurance claim payments that I follow Doctors orders but that’s not my style. I was raised by a naturopath! I wanted to be like Louise Hay and heal myself naturally but that is not part of my journey.

These medications are not natural and likely tested on animals and I have to accept that. It’s harder to accept as I’m vegan. They are one part of the puzzle to the full picture of health. They are a big one though and I wish there was a more natural way.

My immune system is amazing and works overtime trying to detox from meds, clearing any incoming infection not to mention the HVP. There’s abnormal cells so I’m being seen again in few months. It’s a reminder of 2014 when I had a painful left ovarian cyst with severe endometriosis spreading from uterus to bowel and bladder. I had minor surgery that year. I also had a stem cell transplant and loads of chemo that same year. Full on. I know this is different, but there’s triggers there. Cervical cancer is much easier to treat and that may not be the case but if the infection isn’t clearing naturally there’s help I hope. I do prefer to prevent extra issues. That’s healthier but I have had to negotiate with my health care professionals and be flexible. Intuition helps. To their credit they have been understanding but I should remind them to put themselves in my shoes. I would for them.

Anyway I have done a lot more accepting and letting go here in my safe and healthy new home, more than I think I have ever done. It’s about trust. The more I trust, the easier it gets. I didn’t actually get too upset over the gyno news yesterday like I used to. I’m finally getting there.

Lastly I’d like to say that the photo for this post was taken just before a storm yesterday. I saw the beauty in it as I knew it was temporary. Reminds me of my health issues, it is temporary but a long temporary but it is what it is. Thank you for stopping by. Until next time.

*Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional or counselor. Opinions expressed in this post are my own based on what I’ve found helps me. Always consult a professional first*

Domestic/Interpersonal Violence

** Disclaimer: trigger warning. This post deals with domestic violence. If you are in immediate danger please call your country’s emergency number (000 in Australia) **

Hi all, I apologize for not blogging more frequently. I’ve had a lot on not just with my health but an unexpected house move during a currently very long Sydney lockdown with more than 1200 new covid cases reported each day and my housemate who I knew was an alcoholic turned nasty. I can see all the signs now in hindsight and am getting counseling but I accept this was meant to happen.

One of the ways I process is through writing poetry. No I’m not trained or have a degree. I believe in free form and letting it flow. I also hope my words help anyone who is in a violent/emotionally abusive situation to get out or help them heal. After all the self help work I did on myself for over 20 years and my very challenging childhood I could not believe I would attract this person into my life.

I learnt alot from him, not all good. I learnt that I don’t need to take shit just because I have cancer and I’m more introverted, quirky. I actually like myself.

This first poem takes you through some or what happened in early August in my former home. “Monster”

He hit me with vile words

He tried to bully and intimidate me

Insults followed me around the space we shared

He’s losing it I thought.

I tried to calmly speak up for myself but it only fueled his rage more.

I had to stay awake, he wanted to abuse me more but to him he was just sharing wisdom and support but I’m too stupid and uneducated to get it.

I can’t believe this is happening.

Only a few hours ago you called me a friend.

Blocking me from going to bed.

I recall his martial arts training and try not to let this get into my head.

It’s after 4am.

He’s been going on and on for hours. Hyper.

You can’t sleep he says he must get out all of this from his head.

Insults left and right, shut up you are not right.

Did not want me to speak.

I have to be careful, how do I get to my room, my haven. He follows me.

I ask for permission to pee, to sleep.

Follows me to my room, no boundaries anymore.

Says hateful things, makes me wonder when he’ll hit me.

I’m not fully conscious anymore but detached, survival mode

I’m only allowed to say yes but I won’t get depressed, I’m tough.

I have my phone on voice memo and hit record. I know I need proof of his insanity.

He says don’t call the cops yet. I play his game and say I won’t.

I have asked for sleep for over an hour now or longer, I don’t remember. I try to close my eyes and he says not to pretend to sleep. I say I’m tired.

He doesn’t care, I wonder if he ever did.

He’s told me I don’t know him and what he’s capable of.

Who is this monster inhabiting this Man’s body, consuming his soul with hate?

Finally he is outside the haven I have lovingly created over these past 2 years. I see my chance and I close and lock myself in.

Finally I have some control. He continues to yell and scream. An insane man, I do not know him.

His plans for me I do not want, I would rather die.

He says he has the key to the lock. I don’t panic, I sense he is lying.

He says no I don’t have a key, it’s fine. I am not responding as much.

My face hidden how can he know if I’m awake or asleep.

I call for help. I don’t know how to stop him. He won’t listen.

I panic, I’m shaking and I’m describing the scene, feeling like part of myself is hovering outside of me.

They need to know what service I need.

Police.

He gets angry and says he will call the police and get me out tonight, he rants and raves like a Man possessed, not right in the head.

My illness is his inconvenience, he doesn’t want me to burden anyone else.

I’ve ruined it all for him, his kin, he’s furious and his offer of help is gone.

He calms down so finally I scream and yell at him from locked safety of my haven that he is sick, not to talk to me like that and of the agreement we signed for me to co exist in peace here.

He doesn’t care.

I’m livid, I have nothing to lose, I won’t take this abuse now I can get a word in and help is coming.

He says he’s his normal self now and he had to yell at me because I was not listening.

I remind him the police are coming.

He calls them too from downstairs and sounds confused like he doesn’t know what to do.

I ignore him but I suddenly worry he will charm them, he’s very intelligent but so am I and I am right.

But wait the monster didn’t hit me, didn’t rape me but I know I’m right.

I’m sure I’m right, fuck I’m tired.

I don’t deserve this.

I call again to ask if they are still coming when he called too. They affirm yes they will and they do.

A weight starts to lift when I hear the firm knock on the door, I hear a crazy confused Man talking, ranting and not making sense.

Officers come to my rescue, their beautiful energy and compassion and strength overwhelm me with a feeling of love.

I’m so grateful.

They listen and take notes.

I think yes we need the police. I play them a little of the audio.

They have enough proof.

They assess the monster Man downstairs. They say he’s clearly mentally ill. I overhear him saying irrelevant things, putting me out, asking me to move out now. He is confused and making it worse for himself.

He wants to fix it with clever words. I hear him asking to speak to me.

Access is denied. I’m protected.

He is someone else now, changed from a Man into a Monster.

I am in survival mode, hiding from a monster.

They remove him for now but I can’t sleep.

I check on the innocent 4 legged soul in the lounge who often has tail between his legs nowadays, confused and afraid.

I hug him, I cry. The Monster is gone for now.

And this last one (I have written several) is from moving day which was 4 days after the incident and I had been staying at my best friend’s place for a few days. He had gotten worse and ended up in hospital. He’s out now, I have an AVO (restraining order). It’s called “Moving On”

Exhausted she pushes through.

Tries to sleep, meditate and rest but doubt creeps in.

Delays even just a little bit mess up the plans of the day she had in her head.

Feels like she is coming down with something again. Over this.

Grateful for the help of friends and the force but nervous of the Monster Man and his unstable feelings, actions and reactions.

She has to plan for everything going right or wrong.

The feeling in the chest and gut is heavy.

Surely she is going to be ok but something is up.

Later she is startled by txts about the Monster Man.

He’s in care she hopes he gets better if not just for the innocents.

He abused another with threatening words the content of which she can only guess.

Protection from police she says is cancelled. He’s not there.

The day is filled with thoughts, a little more packing, moving from house a to apartment b, suburbs close between.

Video call, chat to another beautiful soul who was abused by someone she thought she knew well.

Important txts, a email sent and checking on safety of 4 legged friend.

Putting dots together, not hating the monster this Man has become but not wanting him in her life.

So many beautiful souls around him, some she would love to keep in contact with.

He’s gone mad, it really is sad but she needs safety.

Rock bottom they say.

She doesn’t feel bad talking about it and wants only good for his kin.

She talks to the new mate in apartment b

She is trusting and stepping into her courage.

Note: I have written angry poems about this person being a narcissist after reflecting back and learning about a few things he said and did to other Women. I’m processing so lots coming out.

*Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional or counselor. Opinions expressed in this post are my own based on what I’ve found helps me. Always consult a professional first*

Investment of Spiritual Growth (Poem)

I push through exhaustion for your benefit

I am not able to listen to my body all the time

I explain when you ask why I’m so tired, what a big task

I am sorry I can’t make you understand the fatigue is real, I am so used to pushing and pulling and wish I had money for cleaners and assistants and chefs

I keep my promises and I ache and am weaker sometimes but still you don’t understand

This clearly was not my plan and in some ways I feel this life is a scam

I have invested a lot to change my lot where others may have given up

I accept this is harder for you all to accept that I will rarely drink with you, I’ll take the medications reluctantly but do more Chinese treatment

Oh fuck I’m so tired and I want to ignore this virus and late nights and conversations

I’m not like you, I had so much healing to do

I’m not immune to my past but I won’t let this last

I’ll do my best to smile and not explain, complain, it’s not your fault

I do hope my investment pays off

Is Change Good?

So change is inevitable isn’t it? Some of it is expected and some of it not.

We often don’t see the positive ahead of time.

How many times have you said ”in hindsight…” when thinking back to a situation that you maybe wished you had handled better?

I have had several changes this year.

I’m a person who constantly works on self-improvement and is less scared of change if I know the outcome will be positive but I still get scared and I still get upset.

Yes it’s true I do like to process it quickly and get out of any negative physical and mental feelings I have but it’s important to be able to feel them then really let them go. Can you relate to this?

Unfortunately, I have had to go backward in a sense to go forward in terms of the dose of medication I was taking of steroids for the now almost in remission multiple myeloma (cancer) I’ve lived with for many years.

I had two unexpected fractures that prompted this and also went back on the Zometa to strengthen my bones 3 months on, 3 months off for awhile.

I also no longer qualified for the monthly Intragram infusions that had helped me over the last 3 years.

This was scary. I found more ways of helping my body naturally and kept up with acupuncture and seeing my osteopath.

Changes had to be made or I was going to get sickier again. I had come so far! It wasn’t easy.

I’m happy to say that working with my specialists especially during Winter which was tough with viruses a plenty that I’m now in a position to cut back a little bit of the medications every month. Short term increase for long term gain?

I may soon be free of cancer and of this medication and probably even the Pomalidomide.

I had changes with my career. I expected but it didn’t go as I expected but that wasn’t a bad thing.

Having had 1 job so far as a plus-size model is a great start, getting auditions more often and a few other great surprises as an actor. Yes, I wanted this! More please universe!

Now it’s time to move house again. I know and understood the reasons.

I also remembered that everything happens for a reason. I should be moving towards the end of this month. It’s a change I sensed coming.

It wasn’t easy. Moving never is regardless of your health.

When chatting with a friend as you do, I was offered a free coaching session at The Morula Center.

It helped me a lot to understand why I have certain reactions.

Old memories held in the body. I also attended a free EFT workshop.

I have started using EFT more than before. It’s not something I hadn’t heard of. I firmly believe this helped me a lot in my life and I had more things flow, go right.

There is science to it for those unsure.

I wouldn’t have made these changes if I didn’t have an unexpected change!

There will be adjustments and changes with the new living situation.

I did my best to mentally prepare myself for them but then I realized I may create anxiety in my body and just had to basically let go and trust.

I feel a lot more positive now going into the unknown. I have my moments but it’s ok.

Basically, when change doesn’t feel like it’s a good thing, it often can be.

I have found that when you are working on yourself and positive that the universe sees this and remember that you will only be given as much as you can handle.

Just know that it will all work out for the best.

Blessings to you all, thank you for reading. Please comment and share if you feel so inclined.

Jasmine.

*Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional or counselor. Opinions expressed in this post are my own based on what I’ve found helps me. Always consult a professional first*

I’m Not Most People!

Today in a meeting at RPA, my hematologist and Myeloma Nurse explained to my OT specialist that I’m amazing to even be working with my health and side effects of medications I’m on!

I reminded them I eat healthily, get acupuncture and Osteo very regularly and meditate and rest.

It’s agreed my old role is not suitable (too many risk factors).

I was told about further treatments for this incurable cancer when existing medications stop working that would involve me having 2 hospital infusions a week 3 weeks in a row. That is scary.

One infusion of blood products a month (a good thing) is enough thanks!

I’m not like most people, I have used the law of attraction to attract some good things and good people in my life and I have been trusting my intuition and common sense this year and not been wrong.

I’m going to keep up the positive attitude and EFT tapping which I restarted yesterday and is already helping my fatigue and back pain.

A lot of health and wealth improvements come from the law of attraction and working a little every day on what you want.

I can speak from my own experiences here on my blog.

I could be worried more but I’m not.

Heading home now to rest as my body has been battling a cold a few weeks now. It is Winter in Australia.

Much love, Jazz

*Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional or counselor. Opinions expressed in this post are my own based on what I’ve found helps me. Always consult a professional first*

A Short Message From Hospital…

*Disclaimer; I’m not a medical professional or counselor. Opinions expressed in this blog are my own based on what I’ve found helps me. Always consult a professional first*

I arrived back from New Zealand on Saturday night.

I’ve gone to bed super early two nights in a row and all I want to do is sleep all day but can’t as I have my monthly hospital visit most of today and stuff to do tonight…mostly packing as I’m moving flats on the 13th…

I know I’ll find times to meditate between appointments and this intense headache will pass. It’s a case of mind over matter.

I really pushed myself to think positive and not worry about my headache, fatigue etc and apply various techniques of several self help gurus including the late Wayne Dyer and it’s helped my morning go very smoothly.

If I didn’t I could easily have created a long, difficult day for myself…

I actually have a bit of a gap before I see my hematologist at 10.30 then my infusion is at 11, that might finish with enough of a gap before my long overdue skeletal survey (x-ray to check the state of dem bones).

A gap is a good opportunity to grab something to eat later at my infusion. I swear I’ve sweat off my last week’s food in the past 24 hours! 😂

I like to practice what I preach and this is why I often have good luck, support etc.

I often send out positive healing vibes to others.

I’ve done it the other way many years ago and prefer this.

No matter what your week holds it’s important to remember that there is a lot of positive there and maybe challenge yourself to only see the positive? I do this as much as possible.

Happy Monday xx ❤️ Jazz

It’s (almost) The End of The Year As We Know It and I Feel Fine…2017

This year soon to be known as 2017 is drawing to a close and it’s certainly been a big year for me and much better than 2016!

A huge year of live music, changes and travel for me. It’s been a positive year.

In this final post for the year, I attempt to summarize as much as I can.

There are some things I didn’t include as I’ve been pretty busy for a person on insurance claim with blood/bone marrow cancer and a slow healing shoulder injury and to remember all the changes and events is challenging but I know it can only get better!

In January after not working in the office for over 3 years my health care team and I tried for a Return to work (RTW) attempt #1. I was hesitant and not that well but we tried with the previous call centre role training and compliance and getting used to being in the office for 2 days a week, just 5 hours a day. There were many issues with I.T and training and my health and I was pushing too hard and getting sicker.

I did my best for a few months but had to go back to full claim again.

In February I saw Guns n Roses live. Axel and the boys!

It was amazing. It was also about 40 degrees Celsius in Sydney! That’s very hot!!

In April I saw the legendary Patti Smith live! A night to remember.

In May I saw Living Colour for the third time! .

They are one of my favourite bands.

It was at The Metro and I got to meet Corey Glover the lead singer afterward! I talked to him but forgot to get a photo.

I was just so happy to meet someone I respect and admire so much.

I love their music and all that they stand for. One of the greatest American bands of all time!

In June I saw one of my favourite stand-up comics live!  

Chris Rock was great!

I also tried for a Return to work (RTW) attempt #2 as an admin role had become available in a different department.

I trained and worked as best as I could, however as it was Winter and I was struggling not to get everyone’s colds and it was the end of financial year and I work in financial services therefore we were getting slammed! It wasn’t easy!

I was also travel planning for September and October to New Zealand and the west coast of the USA thanks to a generous financial donation from my Mother and feeling stressed as it was a big trip to plan.

My last big trip was before my diagnosis back in 2012.

I had to stop working again in August but was planning on coming back in October anyway.

August, I saw my favourite all-time stand-up comic Jerry Seinfeld live. It was so worth it!

Travel dominated September and October.

On 8th September I flew to Wellington then stayed with my Mum in Otaki beach, saw my sister in Levin and my Aunt, Uncle and Cousin in Lower Hutt.

I caught up with a couple of friends whilst I was here.

It was a beautiful holiday.

On September 14th I flew to Auckland to catch up with friends.

I grew up in Auckland, I hadn’t been since 2013 and ended up improvising both with plans alone and catch up’s but it worked out in the end!

On 20th September I flew to San Francisco.

My first time there, yah I finally made it!

I enjoyed the sightseeing, went to a couple of stand up comedy shows and saw some professional improv.

I even joined an open improv jam at End Games Impro one night!

Next up was Seattle from 24-28th September.

I caught up with a friend I hadn’t seen since NZ around 2008 and saw her perform (musician) I did a stand up comedy open mic with my tailored Seattle set and on a separate night I even popped my open mic poetry cherry reading a poem I recently wrote.

I was well received! I loved Seattle a lot and am very keen to visit again.

My final destination was LA until 10th October.

My friend from Toronto joined me for half the time.

She used to visit LA regularly and was able to play ”tour guide” the first two days as I hadn’t been to LA.

I last saw her in Toronto in 2012.

I did the touristy things, checked out the great vegan food, improv, sketch and stand up shows of course and I even went to a couple of concerts whilst in town at the Hollywood Bowl.

I saw Kings of Leon and Lauryn Hill in one week! It was alot of fun.

I even squeezed in a day tour with a tour bus company to San Diego!

Must go back for longer next time!

Back in Australia I played catch up on medical and alternative treatments i.e. infusions, blood tests and acupuncture, physio etc.

To my surprise being away from physio and not at the gym plus drinking a bit of alcohol and having coffee more, sleeping funny etc did not affect my numbers or shoulder movement so I was convinced more holidays are good for your physical health!

I went to an another concert and saw Alice Cooper and Ace Frehley (KISS). This former Goth was happy!

Back to work. This time the role was easier, flexible hours and breaks. It worked out this time.

There were some pay issues as I was on partial disability.

It really had been shouldn’t be as complicated as it has been before and I have had to get payment issues fixed a few times.

This often had me in tears especially when I considered all the extra money I put into travel, work lunches and the energy and effort going into the office when I have chronic fatigue as part of the cancer and side effects of the maintenance medications.

I came back from the USA very assertive and put my foot down.

I said it was not on. I was listened to.

The epic concerts continued in November with my favourite hip-hop act Arrested Development and later that month Stevie Nicks and The Pretenders!

In December some cheap Cat Stevens tickets went on sale a week before the ICCS show so I decided to go.

I didn’t regret it!  Paul Mc Cartney was the other epic gig on 11 December. I like him more now than before. Legend.

Travel. I know I only just got back in October but I was off overseas again to New Zealand from 22 December and will stay here at Otaki Beach until 6th January.

It’s been lovely and peaceful and we had a quiet family Christmas.

For New Year’s Eve my Mother, younger Sister and I will head to the local pubs in Otaki for drinks and live music and karaoke 🎤 !  I’m looking forward to it.

This year I took some of my existing skills in sales and customer service and tried a few new roles that at times I wouldn’t want to admit challenged me more than I realised.

I didn’t want to be unreliable. It was an interesting time.

I took on a volunteer role with Laugh Masters Academy (LMA) as their social media manager for 8 months.

This paid for 3 levels of long-form training and the final Level 4 early next year.

I am so impressed with the vision of Eran the founder of LMA.

They are in Melbourne as well and looking to expand further.

They are Sydney’s only long-form improv school teaching the Chicago style.

I helped out at shows from time to time and have made many friends.

I formed an indie improv team.

We practise regularly and got a few gigs. Special thanks to ITS Overboard for the opportunities. ITS is 1 of the 3 major improv schools in Sydney.

I went to a few open jams at a couple of different locations and performed a few times in the first Monday show at Harold park hotel which is an Impro Australia show.

They were the original improv school in Sydney and where I first studied theatre sports and short form.

The show is even better now.

You get to work with various people on the night, the teams are formed by the host of the show often put together and can do short or long form or games. I love it!

I hosted and opened for a friend’s solo sketch show.

I also told the story of the night I broke my shoulder at Bespoken word in Petersham where I was able to share the humour of that awful but eventful night in July 2016.

I did a clowning workshop with a visiting Mexican clown did regular clown jams with members of the choo choo troupe.

I am developing a character I wrote a sketch for last year.

I kept up my podcast, mostly interviewing guests alone now.

I went vegan again, my 2nd attempt after being a vegetarian for over 20 years and do not regret it.

After a long break from singing lessons, I had a couple with the intention of getting back into it next year.

I did the social media promo for a fully improvised Aussie film Lovestuck.

This was a paid gig and though it was challenging at times I am glad I did it.

I helped arrange and host the private screening of an indie film I was a featured extra in awhile back called Godplex.

I learnt about hosting events in Sydney and the challenges, details and more!

We had a small but happy crowd on the night.

I was an extra in 3 different Aussie TV programmes.

This was a big deal after signing to an agency in November last year.

I also did an acting workshop in April with Grant Thompson at my agency’s Ispry office.

Got closer to remission, my shoulder is almost back to 100%.

Osteopathy, the gym every week and regular physiotherapy help a lot.

I learnt a few new self-help techniques to change old bad habits as they were coming up.

Being assertive and more trusting is a big thing for me.

The biggest thing that helped this year was having extra money, I cannot stress that enough.

I didn’t expect Mum to help me the way she did or to go back to work part-time and have cash coming in from various places.

I even got a bonus at work just before Christmas.

I do know I was working on being healthy, wealthy and assertive using help from various teachers such as Wayne W. Dyer, Dr Joe Dispenza ,Christian Mickelsen and Brandon Bays.

I also tried a few new things with my hero of self-help, the late great Louise Hay!

So in summary 2017 has been pretty good and I’m looking forward to more prosperity in every sense of the word!

Lots of concerts and some travel booked in already and I’ve created many vision boards which I know have helped in the past plus arts and crafts time at home can be fun!.

I don’t know how and when some of what I want or need will manifest, I just know to trust the universe to bring only good to me and that if it wasn’t meant to be then it’s not for my highest good.

This is the way I live and trying to have less stress.

I do have my moments but I’m working on it!

Have a safe and happy new years eve!

*Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional or counselor. Opinions expressed in this post are my own based on what I’ve found helps me. Always consult a professional first*

Time Travel Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be

I woke up feeling extra tired and lacking in motivation today. I have to see my therapist later.

I know I had my acupuncture yesterday and sometimes the day after I feel extra tired.

All I wanted to do was to sleep and order food on uber eats! I don’t like this!

I prefer to be up, happy and motivated! That’s the real me.

This mood reminded me of the old Jazz from my teens and twenties. Yes she had a lot of challenges and she totally changed herself to the positive, inspiring person everyone is now familiar with.

I know one can have off days but I don’t want to have those because I maxed out my credit limit on those a long time ago!

I’ve worked hard to get where I am, climbed this mountain and I’m not falling down! I’m sure some of you reading this can relate!

I considered that cancer-related fatigue didn’t help and there had been a couple of issues this week with an old injury flaring up, problems with work not paying me correctly and chasing up with a special payment and some plans I was excited about needing to be changed.

I thought I had processed them using Christian Mickelsens Peace Process which is amazing and helped me when allergies were knocking me around last week!

Maybe it takes longer to deal with some things?

I know we hold emotions in our body and good mental health = better physical health but I really had to work hard with my meditation, a hot shower and positive affirmations with the knowledge that this low energy mood will pass but I didn’t want it to affect me and anyone around me!

I can stay in and rest tonight and watch House of Lies. I just discovered it 5 years after it first aired! I appreciate satire!

I was stressing about money for my next USA trip in April. I needed to trust. I also had a craving for coffee.

I know less is more with coffee due to my medications and my health.

I decided to write a list of all the things in my current life that I like. I also made an uplifting/funny playlist on my phone as I find music helps a lot with mood.

It’s important to me not to have side effects from what I use to lift my mood for the most part!

The universe listens. I really wanted to go to my favourite cafe for lunch and a coffee but I was struggling with the basics.

My therapist contacted me and asked if I could do a later appointment today! Yes I can!

I have some housework to do but I can do it tonight or Sunday. When you are tired and old injuries are flaring up or your mood is off it can make everything harder but if you consistently use positive thinking like I do, it will pass sometimes in the same day!

On a side note, sometimes fatigue is your body asking you to slow down.

I’m already slowed down enough, well maybe my brain needs to chill out more!

Always consult your specialist before heeding my advice!

If you are anything like me, a little hard on yourself and not a fan of time traveling back to the old you then I hope I’ve helped!

 *Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional or counselor. Opinions expressed in this post are my own based on what I’ve found helps me. Always consult a professional first*